Abandoning the Bachelorette

By making sure that you attend the bachelor and bachelorette parties

While it wouldn’t be shy of catastrophic, if for some reason, you could not attend the upcoming nuptials of the new couple to be there is one way to lighten the blow of your absence. By making sure that you attend the bachelor and bachelorette parties. It is sometimes easy to overlook the necessity of your presence at the bachelor and bachelorette parties, since as the day approaches it seems like every other weekend you may be doing something associated with the wedding.

Whether it has been getting together for a wedding show, brunch, or the invitation party. Perhaps you’ve spent every free moment gallivanting across town with the bride in dire search of that one perfect dress she knows is still out there. Whatever the case, the bachelor and bachelorette parties are still required attendance.

These parties, from the planning to the actual day

These parties, from the planning to the actual day, are extremely important to the bride and groom for a couple of different reasons. As the time rapidly approaches for the couple to become participants of those who exist on the other side of the married finish line, the process can be daunting. Emotionally and physically exhausting. Since the bachelor and bachelorette parties are usually planned anywhere from a couple of months to just a couple of weeks before the wedding, at this point the bride and groom need some serious R&R. The bachelor and bachelorette parties should be a time when they can kick back, relax and enjoy the company of their nearest and dearest.

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It’s no wonder, that in the midst of their changing lives

It’s no wonder, that in the midst of their changing lives they wish to be surrounded with the people who have supported them along the way. That’s you! The number of guests that show up at their parties, in essence, determines how many friends and family they really have. In addition, the quantity of the guests reflects the quality of the couple’s network. For the one in charge of planning, keep in mind that your hard work will be evident in the number of guests that attend. You want to be the one to reinforce the bride and groom’s perception of their tight network of friends, so get that address book and start inviting. The bachelorette and bachelor parties are your chance to display the support the bride and groom have from their family and friends. You want the bride and groom to be overwhelmed by how lucky they feel to have so many good and caring friends.

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For those invited, the bride and groom will defiantly be hurt if you don’t show

For those invited, the bride and groom will defiantly be hurt if you don’t show. Consider their last final single bash as a running tally of what meaningful relationships the bride and groom have accumulated to this point in their life. You want to be a part of that number. This is the time to show them that you want to share this special occasion with them, and that you have made them a priority.

When emotions are running high, the bachelor and bachelorette party

When emotions are running high, the bachelor and bachelorette party is their chance to cut loose, and not worry about the head count, the music list, or any of the mundane details that can get so burdensome toward the end. Send the bride and groom’s single-hood off in style. You need to realize that this party isn’t just another party; it is a defining moment in time for them. This celebration is one that the bride and groom will remember as the ending of one era, and the beautiful beginning of their new one. It’s the first authentic taste of the life change is coming around the corner.

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The bride certainly needs this time with all her closest girlfriends to really feel like she is being sent off into a life of marriage with support

The bride certainly needs this time with all her closest girlfriends to really feel like she is being sent off into a life of marriage with support. Sometimes, if a new bride feels like she doesn’t have her friends support in the wedding, she can feel alone and even isolated. She needs you there, as does the groom. The more the merrier when it comes to getting everyone together. Compared to years past, the invitees to the bachelor and bachelorette parties were limited to close friends and family. Nowadays, neighbors, mums, dads, in-laws, colleagues and even friends from recreational activities, like your softball teammate should be in attendance. This diverse crowd makes for a great time, since all aspects of your social life will be co-mingling.

For those invited, be sure that you show up on time and don’t bail out until the festivities are completely over

For those invited, be sure that you show up on time and don’t bail out until the festivities are completely over. Showing up for a drink and then leaving just to say you were there, doesn’t cut it. Carve out all the time you will need, and commit to hanging out the entire night. The bride will NEVER forget that you left her bachelorette party early, this kind of neglectful behavior will force the bride to conclude that she’s not worth your time. Causing the bride any kind of pain is the ultimate wedding sin, so this type of anguish is to be avoided at all costs.

If you have been given the privilege of being the best man or the maid of honor

If you have been given the privilege of being the best man or the maid of honor in the wedding, this is where one of your biggest responsibilities, shy of the wedding day itself comes into play, the planning. You need to take the reigns and take control as soon as possible. Don’t wait for the bride to ask you to begin planning, that’s just one more box to check that she doesn’t need to worry about. Take full accountability.

It’s ok to ask the bride for assistance

It’s ok to ask the bride for assistance. One of the easiest ways to formulate a guest list for the bachelor and bachelorette parties is to ask the bride to export her wedding guest list from Wedding Tools. This is an organized way to keep track of telephone numbers, emails, addresses, etc., making it that much easier to keep tabs on all the important contact information. The planner can then effortlessly see who’s invited to the wedding, and thus who needs to be invited to the bachelor and bachelorette party. Gather all of this information, throw off your towel, and dive in headfirst.

After the guest list has been made, find out what the bride and groom want to do

After the guest list has been made, find out what the bride and groom want to do. If you have an excellent idea for skydiving, but the bride is deathly afraid of heights, you might want to rethink your plan for the party. Ask the bride for guidelines and boundaries. You don’t want a fun, relaxing night to turn into something uncomfortable or unfunny, so get details and ask the bride to be as specific as possible about what she expects from the party. But DON’T let the bride take control. It isn’t her duty to plan the party it’s yours. Ask about her preferences, ask her for her guest list, and then put in your own elbow grease to get the party planned.

Coming up with a budget for the invitees is a great way to curb any backlash or complaint from the guests. Keep it reasonable, so that everyone has a chance to be involved in the merrymaking. If you make the party too expensive, or too hard to get to, then you may be cutting the guest list in half.

However, what the bride says goes. If she wants to have a four-day soiree at one of her favorite vacation spots, you plot the numbers, get the word out and just report who can and can’t make it. Complete a detailed list of transportation options, an itinerary, deposit deadlines, and budget out a per day expense report. While this may seem like a lot of work, your attention to detail will not go overlooked, the bride and groom will be blown away by your efforts to go above and beyond their expectations.

For those friends that are invited to the bachelorette and bachelor party

For those friends that are invited to the bachelorette and bachelor party, keep in mind that complaining about the price, the event, or the length of the party is not acceptable. To be honest, the price is actually the number one problem that the planner will find when it comes to inviting people to the bachelor and bachelorette parties. For example, if you get an invitation and you commit to attending before the planner quotes you the price, be prepared to stick to your commitment. What most invitees don’t realize is that if they change their mind about attending the party after finding out the cost, they not only affect the bride and groom they affect EVERYONE invited.

This is why: usually budgets are determined per head. If you cancel after you already committed to going, your price has already been factored into the total cost of the party. If you don’t show, everyone else will have to pony up the dough! Not only will that cause immense frustration for the bride since her guest list might shrink because of the rise in cost, but you will also cause a rippling effect of complaint and anger throughout the entire chain of invitees. Talk about being a guest behaving badly!

Otherwise, once you get to the party, just grit your teeth, grin, and enjoy. Nobody likes to be around the spoilsport, so kick back enjoy the company and help make the memories that the bride and groom will remember the rest of their lives.

Confessional

Here’s where you have to get real. If you haven’t noticed by now, when it comes to wedding etiquette, the basis is this: Weddings, unless it’s your own, are a time to be selfless. While it may seem like you are bending over backwards to be accountable, on time, helpful, and available, it is so worth it to the couple, and will strengthen your relationship with them.

This is also a perfect time to kill the bride and groom with kindness. There will be times when the bride or groom make it almost impossible for you to be happy about helping them, or to be generous with your time and funds. This is especially true, when stress transforms your friends into Mr. and Mrs. Bridezilla.

We are all human. You can make things go just a little more smoothly if you allow your own desires to take a backseat during the planning. So attend the bachelor and bachelorette party, chances are that you will find yourself having way more fun, and developing a better relationship with the bride and groom than you ever though you could!

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